21.3 Reasons to dislike Shakespeare.
1) I grew up hearing Shakespeare left and right, from the Old Man and elsewhere. And you know what made that one funnier than anything? The Old Man could walk around pretending he was Macbeth or Caesar (Christ, that was one of his favorites) all he wanted; every night, he'd turn right back to his disguise as the good old Count.
2) As if it wasn't bad enough listening to him spouting off lines, Ye Olde Miser had the kid and I recite parts of our own. We got a few bucks and some drinks out of him that way, sure, but there's nothing worse than having the role of an actor shoved down your throat.
3) Try sitting through Hamlet three or four days in a row. Just try it. I tell you, you'll need a drink by the second act of the second day, if not before. He's got a few things right, sure, but our most beloved Dane could stand to whine a little less and cut to the chase, if you know what I mean.
4) Marina. You want me to believe no one's going to touch her, just because she talks to them? I don't buy that. It's funny, and if he was going for humor, he's got it, but I don't buy it.
5) Apparently, it's disrespectful to laugh at, misread, misspeak, or saying something against anything Shakespeare wrote (or supposedly wrote, though that's another issue you'd just better not bring up). Now, I'm willing to give him a helluva lot of credit for what he did (or didn't do, whatever the case may be), but the minute you start making some guy in the theatre out to be your god, I'm out.
6) Papa worships the bastard. Need I say more?